While watching a random Youtube video recently, a random 'expert' offered the following insight into why people won't leave Facebook no matter how awful it gets - he simply said, "people love their friends more than they hate Zuckerberg".
I thought about that for a minute. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
A year ago I hit my final straw with FB and decided I was done with the platform. But I didn't actually delete my account, I just walked away and refused to engage. Why didn't I delete my account? Because I still wanted the option to get in touch with friends and family that I can currently only contact via FB.
So how has the last year gone? I logged into FB 3 times in 12 months and was in and out in under 5 minutes each time. Once to update my business page and make a password change, twice to view some family photos.
Maybe I might hate Zuckerface more than I love my friends.
Just kidding, sort of. I actually hadn't been using FB very much in the last few years or decade and so it really hasn't been missed from my life.
Facebook was originally sold as a tool for connection. And early on it worked really well at that for many years. I re-connected with so many old friends and was able to stay in touch with family while living abroad in ways that just wouldn't have been possible otherwise. It had it's moment in the sun, but what it became is something dark and sinister.
Along the way from happy connections to doom scrolling ad filled feeds I lost interest, and so did many of my friends. Even if the posted, I wouldn't see it anyway.
Instead of happy social connection, healthy debate, collaboration, discovery or a broadening of one's horizons, FB now amplifies the worst in us. Not the best.
Today, FB's algorithm cares not about harmony, but of discourse. They care about attention. What keeps you scrolling. What keeps you angry. What keeps you hooked. There's more money to be made in rage than in joy. And FBResearch shows social media platforms can trigger addiction-like behaviors with symptoms similar to gambling or substance dependence. Scrolling produces dopamine hits with each like, comment, and share. Some experts have said this dopamine-driven feedback loop alters how society functions.
And this isn’t accidental. It’s engineered. We are being controlled and manipulated with intention.
This isn't good for us. The 'fear of missing out' can lead to dependence and addiction which can then lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, loneliness, and low self-esteem.
Thankfully FB never fully caught me in their net and I escaped their clutches unharmed. But many others are hooked and can't see a way out. Like any addiction, it's hard to let go. And yet, while I may not be addicted and I may not be engaging with the platform, I still haven't deleted my account. FoMO.
Lacking the will to press delete has been a conflicting struggle for me. Why can't I just walk away fully? I despise this platform, its' leadership and everything it stands for. FB is in direct conflict with my moral compass so I should want to dissociate completely. Shouldn't I?
In researching this topic I came across this sentiment. Rarely do humans walk away from social experiences, even toxic ones. People want community, updates from friends, shared moments. That’s real. I'm no different from anyone else in that regard. And that makes fully leaving feel like a loss.
Let's get real for a moment.
Facebook doesn’t just affect individuals, it reshapes social discourse.
Polarization, emotional contagion, and echo chambers aren’t quirks. They’re embedded in FB’s design.
The platform rewards outrage and reinforcement of existing beliefs. It doesn’t reward nuance. It doesn’t reward empathy. It rewards reaction. This warps conversation and weakens trust.
Would the world be the shit show it is right now if social media hadn't taken such a dark turn? Maybe. But at the very least, these platforms have definitely pressed the accelerator.
Underneath all of this is a corporate engine driven by quarterly earnings. Meta’s entire revenue model depends on eyeballs and engagement metrics. That's why simply disengaging is an effective disrupter.
Unfortunately Meta is so hell bent on more and more profits year after year that it has continually played fast and loose with the law. For example, the EU has found Meta in breach of their laws for ineffective content moderation systems, noting “dark patterns” that discourage users from reporting harmful content. And parents’ groups in Italy are suing Facebook and Instagram for failing to protect children and using addictive design that harms mental health.
Meta denies any wrongdoing. They always have. But the company has repeatedly been accused of putting profit above user welfare including internal whistleblower revelations about specific harm to teenage users. They don't care.
Facebook isn’t merely a website. It gives voice, community, and real connection. But it also amplifies rage, insecurity, and anxiety.
Meta will continue to innovate for profit. Possibly with even more harm to come. When will society, regulators, individuals... decide enough is enough.
Because harmful design shouldn’t be inevitable.
Let's fight for something more, something better.
Shawnna
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